I’m really terrible at being consistent with this blog already. A lot has happened since my first three posts. If I’m being honest with myself, I would say that I’ve been avoiding writing because of addressing the life update from my second post about my cousin and his battle with cancer.

Nathan went to be with the Lord on April 20th. I’m still not 100% confident that I’ve mourned his death yet. When he passed, Daniel and I were only into our second day of our anniversary vacation in Mexico. Everyone in the family just told us that we should enjoy our vacation because Nathan would want us to, and so we did. I tried to not let emotions take over our trip. Nathan’s death, though he had been battling cancer for several years and most recently, shingles, still came as a surprise.  From everything we had been told prior to us leaving for our vacation, he was on the road to recovery from the shingles and his regular cancer treatment would carry on once that was resolved. So when his body decided to stop fighting, it was unexpected and happened really fast, from what I’ve come to learn.  My Aunt Beth was in the room with him when he passed, and I’m glad she was there with him through those last really hard months. Their relationship needed that bonding time before his time here was over, and I’m so grateful they were able to have that.

I’m rambling…I don’t feel like I’ve mourned his death because I didn’t get to be around family when everything happened, and by the time I returned from vacation the following week, the worst of the mourning for everyone else was already over. The day after we returned, they were having Nathan’s viewing service so I drove to Yakima for that and went with my Mom and spent time with family there. Nathan looked very peaceful and I let out only a few tears here and there when I would see others crying too.  My emotions came out most when Ray, Nathan’s best friend, mentioned that Nathan had recently told him how proud of me he was. That was hard and good to hear all at once.  I felt at peace in the fact that his physical body was no longer suffering and that his soul had moved on and is now in the arms of the Lord. That following weekend we had a celebration of life for him in the mountains, just as Nathan would want. It was a beautiful day, so many people gathered to celebrate Nathan’s life. I got to lead prayer in front of everyone there which was honestly intimidating for me with it being the largest crowd I’ve ever publicly spoken in front of, but also an honor.

I keep thinking that I’m going to be visiting Nathan in the hospital again one of these days, but have to remind myself of reality. Reality is better though, even if it’s a hard truth because I’m selfish and I want Nathan to be here still. “Eternity mindset” I keep reminding myself, I’ll be seeing him again.

I was supposed to write a blog about our honey extraction today, but I needed to get this one done first, so I’ll do the honey blog post tomorrow.


In loving memory of Nathan Voyles (Jan 11, 1987-April 20, 2016)

(Left to right) Me, Nathan, and Daniel early 2015.